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You may be aware that there are two general schools of thought when it comes to achieving success:

1: The Tony Robbins – “take massive action” approach.

2: The Zen Master – “being with what is” approach.

Who’s right? These two approaches are seemingly contradictory, active versus passive! Maybe it comes down to what success means to you…

In my view – success is determined by how much you have grown from an experience. More growth means greater levels of success. Therefore if we choose to give all experiences meanings that enable us to grow from them, then we’re bound to be successful.

Your level of growth can be identified by how you respond in a crisis situation. When the rug gets pulled from under your feet, how do you react? These are the situations where, while we’re stumbling, life puts a mirror in front of us so that we can see how successful we truly are.

In a crisis, do we take immediate massive action, or do we accept what’s happening and respond mindfully? If your roof is on fire, I suggest massive action!

The point is that when a difficult situation arises, it’s our negative reaction and unwillingness to find its positive lesson that prevents growth, and therefore invites similar circumstances down the line.

Learning to be with your strong feelings and agonising thoughts, observing them, and allowing them to pass, before deciding what to do, if anything at all, is the mark of an accomplished person. It’s no wonder this ability contributes to obtaining material wealth also.

The person who can be without needing to do, has more freedom to do what’s most necessary in any situation. Only when we can be with our current experience, exactly as it is, do we have the choice to change it in a sustainable way. In this way you can and do co-create your future, for how you will experience your future is determined by the choices you make in the present.

I find that being with what is almost never inspires massive action. The state of being (present) enables greater awareness and therefore more intelligent thought, from where the next small step, and all successive steps are revealed – leading to success.

“At the centre of your being you have the answer, you know who you are and you know what you want.” – Lau Tzu

So the answer to our question in the title of this Tip is:

Be, then do (if and what is necessary).

This philosophy builds on my previous six articles (now published as articles on this page), where you learnt how to enter the “being state”, and from there choose your goal-and-purpose in any situation. Hopefully this Tip enRiches your journey of growth and level of success.

Written by Jevon Dangeli – NLP Trainer & Coach

PS: If you’d like to receive Jevon’s monthly Personal Development Tip and gain access to his articles, videos and audio programs…all for free, opt in here.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope your Festive Season was wonder-filled. Here’s to ensure that this year is all that you would like it to be, and more…

If you’ve read and applied what I wrote about in my last five articles – the FIND THE GAP series, then you’ll already be well on your way to creating an outstanding year. The “gap” is the master key to your success, no matter how you define success, so make sure to read or revise these Tips here.

Which way are you choosing to take this year?

To make this a fulfilling year, make your choice, take the next step, and follow the signs…

It’s that simple!

There’s never a shortage of signs to show us the way.

We’re either heading where we want to go, or where we don’t want to go.

The signs let us know which track we’re on.

Positive results and good feelings – means we’re on the “right” track.

Negative results and bad feelings – means we’re on the “wrong” track.

That’s how easy the signs are to read.

The accomplishment of your goals or lack thereof – is a sign!

To keep the journey fulfilling, our goals need to change in order to match the terrain.

As long as you know where you’re going (your purpose), you can never be lost.

If you are aware of the greater purpose of your life, and you’re committed to fulfilling that, then you’re on the highway with cruise control. Remember to enjoy the scenery along the way!

If you’re choosing to focus on specific purposes in the different areas of your life, then you have the best GPS system in the universe to guide you to your chosen destinations.

Either way is better! As long as you are clear about your purpose(s).

Always ensure that your goals lead toward fulfilling your purpose(s).

Your goals can change as often as they need to, but they must be purpose driven.

Start by eliciting your purpose (for your life, or in any specific context), then imagine how you will experience yourself having fulfilled that purpose, and then allow that state to inspire any necessary action towards its ongoing fulfilment. This is a basic form of the Beyond Goals methodology that I teach in this video.

It doesn’t matter if you’re wanting to achieve greater inner and/or outer wealth. You now have the master key in your hands. How will you choose to proceed?

“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.” – Albert Camus

Perhaps one of the greatest investments you could make in your life, especially in this day and age, is investing in your personal development. I’ll do my best to keep my following monthly Personal Development Tips relevant, meaningful and practical. Thank you for being part of the journey with me.

Onwards and upwards in 2012 and beyond…

Love, Jevon

PS: If you’d like to receive my monthly Personal Development Tips and gain access to my articles, videos and audio programs…all for free, opt in here.

The reason why people fail to follow through with their set goals and resolutions is because they focus on the acquisition of something, or the stopping of something, instead of the actual feeling that such a result would provide them with.

What we really desire (our internal goal), is not the accomplishment of an external goal, but the way in which we’ll experience ourselves when the external goal is accomplished.

Good news is that the feeling associated with any goal’s accomplishment is not something that’s reserved for only after you accomplish the goal. You can experience that state right now! In fact, through associating into the state that you expect to experience at that moment when you achieve your goal, and doing so regularly, you become inspired and motivated to take the necessary actions that lead you toward achieving your external goals, as well as sustaining those results. This is also the key to activating the LAW OF ATTRACTION to work for you.

The above attitude and behaviour is a recipe for success. Here are the ingredients and method:

Whether it´s your New Year’s Resolution or any desire at any point, start by finding your g-a-p! This means first establishing your purpose in a specific context, and then initiating the fulfilment of that purpose through taking the action that leads toward its accomplishment.

Start by quietening your mind, then ask yourself:

1. What do I ultimately want in this situation (or for the year ahead)? (elicits your purpose)
2. What will I do now toward achieving this?(elicits your goal)

It helps to envisage the fulfilment of your purpose as as vividly as possible. Step into it. See, hear and feel what it´s like to be the person who’s experiencing this. Then while you’re in this state, ask yourself question 2. And go for it!

This simple 2 step process is useful for both long term goal setting as well as for dealing with immediate challenges, including when “evil temptations” arise. Your goal can change as often as it needs to, as long as you stay focussed in your purpose. This is a basic form of the Beyond Goals methodology that I teach in this video.

Find your g-a-p in all situations, and you’ll be co-creating your experience of life, each step of the way!

PS: If you’d like to receive Jevon’s monthly Personal Development Tips and gain access to my articles, videos and audio programs…all for free, opt in here.

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Facilitating a Context for Change means creating and maintaining an awareness that enables people to identify their limiting beliefs while connecting with their deeper wisdom and inner resources. It also means holding the space in which healing, growth and transformation can occur optimally.

(Download instructions below)

Trying to help people become self motivated, improve performance, coaching them, or applying change techniques like NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, and many others, offer at best nominal short term benefits, unless they are integrated within the framework which I call Facilitating a Context for Change.

My years of travelling around the world to find  a more complete “Truth” lead me in fascinating directions that included many meditation retreats, alternative healing modalities, spiritual studies, including learning directly from great teachers like the Dalai Lama and other Buddhist masters, as well as enlightened facilitators (gurus) – from a variety of disciplines and nationalities. By the way, Truth with a capitol T means the truth of  our nature and existence beyond (but not excluding) physical form and ego desire.

Some of the teachers and gurus that I’ve met definitely have an air of – something very special, yet ordinary and certainly beyond definition with words – about them. I’ve also had (and continue enjoying) the privilege of interacting with many highly conscious individuals in everyday life, and have had the opportunity to explore and model what enables such people to have the amazing affect which they do on others.

Now it goes without saying that such people are all wise and well evolved along their own paths of personal and spiritual development. However, regardless of their chosen ways, I have noticed that there are evident commonalities which draw a red thread from some core teachings of ancient spiritual wisdom that intertwines through what some quantum physicists and neuro scientists are validating today, and then wraps around what  outstanding coaches, therapists, mentors & trainers do naturally.

Through my research and observations I have distilled 12 distinct practices that form the cornerstones of Facilitating a Context for Change. I have tested these thoroughly since 2005 – in sessions with my clients and at the courses that I present.

My experience is that these 12 practices are more than what’s necessary in order to provide a safe and supportive environment where people can find their own Truth. I have discovered that in applying just a few of them, sessions and courses become profound (for my clients and students, as well as for myself). However, because we are each unique and have our own preferences, in the Facilitating a Context for Change audio programme I guide and present all 12 practices in order for you to know how to apply each of them. You can then select and incorporate whatever resonates and works best for you.

(Download instructions below)

If you are a caring friend, conscious parent, coach, therapist, mentor, trainer, teacher, councillor, leader  or manager, then this is for you. And we all fulfil at least one of these roles!

I have recorded a live Facilitating a Context for Change seminar where you can hear me presenting this subject to students who had recently completed their Wellness Coach Certification Training. This seminar includes all 12 Facilitating a Context for Change practices. You will be able to begin applying these simple yet profound skills straight after listening.

The best a person can be in your presence is a match to your internal representation of them. Find out how to help people become their best without overtly doing anything at all.

Here it is -

The Facilitating a Context for Change Audio Programme MP3 download,

PLUS a printable Facilitating a Context for Change Guide.

Get the complete seminar for only € 19.–

Click the “Add to Cart” button below to purchase this seminar:

.

Note for coaches and therapists -

Change techniques are secondary! Facilitating a Context for Change enables your clients to find their own best answers within – then change, healing and growth is enabled naturally and automatically. This may be the most effective and ethical skill in your repertoire.

This article is the fourth in a series of articles that focus 

In the previous three articles I defined the gap as: “The space between thoughts. Your source of inner peace, joy, creativity and freedom”. In this Tip you’ll discover how to find your g-a-p (goal-and-purpose) in all types of situations. This, as you will discover, frees up choice, flexible communication and proactive action – no matter what you’re confronted by.

First, no matter what, before any important decision, or knee jerk reaction, always find the gap! I explain why this is vitally important in FIND THE GAP 5!

In addition to the skills you’ve learned in the previous three articles, here’s another very simple way to clear your thoughts:

Suddenly imagine a big red STOP sign in front of you. As you halt your thoughts, pay attention to the gap for as long as it’s there. The more you give the gap your attention, the greater it becomes. If you like, you can add the following – As you bring the big red STOP sign to mind, hear brakes screeching and feel the jolt of your “vehicle” coming to a halt.

In any kind of confrontation or when an important decision is required, first halt, then find your g-a-p (goal-and-purpose).

In this instance, your goal is what you want to do, and your purpose is how you will experience yourself once it’s done.

When your goal-and-purpose are in alignment, you feel good, you’re motivated and you’re constructive.

When your goal-and-purpose are not in alignment, then your actions do not result in the feeling that you’d like to have. For example, some people smoke to relax, but smoking doesn’t relax them. Some people eat (or refuse to eat) as a way of dealing with heavy emotions, but this doesn’t work. Some people say things to hurt others so that they can feel empowered, but this just causes themselves pain down the line.

The art of finding your g-a-p in any situation is to start by establishing your purpose, and then to take the action (your goal) that leads toward the accomplishment of your purpose.

Questions to ask yourself once you’ve halted:

What do I ultimately want in this situation?
(elicits your purpose)

What will I do now toward achieving this?
(elicits your goal)

The far reaching benefits of first finding the gap and then establishing your g-a-p is worth the discipline of applying this in your life.

In FIND THE GAP 5 we’ll take this idea further, and you’ll discover a timely trick to making any New Year’s Resolution WORK!

Find the g-a-p, and you’ll find yourself in greater control of your mind, and therefore in control of your results!

PS: If you’d like to receive Jevon’s monthly Personal Development Tip and gain access to his articles, videos and audio programs…all for free, opt in here.

This article is the third in a series of articles that focus on how you can effectively overcome negative self talk, emotional reactions, runaway thoughts and things that go bump in the night.

The gap is the space between thoughts. It’s your source of inner peace, joy, creativity and freedom.

I just got back from a walk in the wilderness with my baby boy. Not only was it a bonding father/son experience, it was also precious to commune with nature. We do this daily, and each time I return to the office uplifted and inspired.

Out in nature, finding the gap is easy, but what about when you’re stressed and out of time, and the only nature around is the wilting plant on your filing cabinet?

One of the gifts of nature is the calm and nurturing “space” that it creates in and around us. Although I highly recommend a good dose of that which only mother nature has to offer, as often as you can, there is another way to quickly and easily simulate that “space”.

You can switch your neurology into a similar mode to that which nature induces, anywhere, any time, by opening the aperture of your awareness. This literally means allowing more light into the periphery of your visual field. This is done by allowing your eyes to become aware of not only what’s directly in front of you, but also of what’s in the outskirts of your visual field. It’s a change from tunnel vision to peripheral vision, and the result is “space” (aka the gap).

By shifting your focus to include what’s in the periphery of your visual field you activate your nervous system’s parasympathetic arousal. While in the cool, calm & collected state that is associated with parasympathetic arousal, it is impossible for you to be fight-or-flight mode, meaning that any stress just went out the window (pun intended).

Peripheral Vision simplified:

While looking at whatever you’re looking at, allow yourself to also become aware of what’s in the far left and far right of your visual field. Don’t turn your head to focus on what’s in your periphery, just let that remain blurry in the outskirts of your awareness. Take a few moments to let your visual field expand. Your eyes don’t open more, you just let more light in, and begin to feel lighter.

If you’re in a heated discussion, whether, face-to-face or over the phone, notice that peripheral vision helps you compose your thoughts and become more present. If you’ve got a mental block, or performance anxiety, notice how peripheral vision enables you to relax and flow.

Adding peripheral vision to the breathing technique that you got in our previous Tip is the structure of the Cool, Calm & Collected Technique, which is highly effective at enabling you to find the gap.

Find the gap, and you’ll find yourself. And you’ll find that you’re capable of more than you think!

To watch a video of Jevon teaching Peripheral Vision, see Video 6 on our Free Coaching with NLP Training videos page.