How to Build Self Esteem

Imagine a life where no one can intimidate you, where you have an invisible sense of knowing who you are, where you are clear about your values and congruent in your ways of expressing them.

Your life right now is an external reflection of your internal points of view. We sustain our perceptions (even limiting ones) because they serve a purpose. Becoming more conscious of your perceptions leads to less identification with them. This is the key to emotional freedom  and Authentic Self Empowerment. These are also the ingredients for a healthy and stable self-esteem.

Doctor Caroline Myss defines self-esteem as an actual “core power” that is essential to our evolutionary progress. Myss teaches that your potential for success in life is determined by how greatly you “esteem” or value who you truly are. She claims that you build Self Esteem by honoring the commitments you make. However she doesn’t recommend beating yourself up if you break your commitments, but rather asks that you recognize that this is self-sabotaging behavior and explore what part of yourself fears your own empowerment and why.

It’s the acceptance of all aspects of yourself that develops your self-esteem.

Learning how to accept all parts of you and returning to wholeness is like a journey back home after a long visit to the theme park where you became identified with some of the roles that you were playing. This kind of journey is one that each human being is on whether we know it or not.

There are several ways to identify the source of your self limiting perceptions (separated parts) including transforming and integrating them so that they no longer bother you. The following abbreviated version of the HNLP ‘LINGUISTIC RE-SOURCING’ technique can be quite enlightening if you fully consider the 7 questions of this process.

Start by thinking of an area of your life where you have limited self-esteem:

  1. What’s limiting you?
  2. How do you know it’s a limitation?
  3. When did you decide that?
  4. How were you before then?
  5. As that person, what are you deciding now?
  6. How is this different from how you were?
  7. How will you integrate this change in your life?

If you fully engage in the above process, applying it in the relevant areas of your life, it may help you improve your self-esteem a little more each time. Another way of achieving this while learning a powerful confidence boosting technique is by listening to my Boost Confidence podcast.

Written by Jevon Dangeli – MSc Transpersonal Psychology, Coach & Trainer