How to let go of limiting beliefs and unwanted behaviours

grille, bridge, hand

If there is something that you do that you don’t want to do, but you can’t stop yourself from doing it or if there is something that you want to do (or achieve), but you’re not, then what’s stopping you is a limiting belief.

In order to let go of a limiting belief, you have to first identify that you have one. Limiting beliefs are often more identifiable in others. You can hear it in people’s language and expression when they unconsciously cut themselves off from the resources that could be available to them. You’ll hear them say things like: “I have to keep this unstimulating job, as it is difficult to find new and rewarding work these days.” Or: “I can´t leave this relationship because I will never find someone better.” – as well as many other statements of perceived limitation. So ask those who know you best what they think your limiting beliefs might be.

You can also unveil your own limiting beliefs by paying attention to where in your life you may be achieving poor results or struggling to reach certain goals. Remember: What we achieve in life (or fail to achieve) is directly related to our beliefs.

Once an unconscious limiting belief is brought into conscious awareness and we address the belief’s intention, then we can begin to release that belief from determining our results.

Start by asking yourself: What purpose has this belief been serving?

 Every belief (and behaviour) has a positive intention. You developed it for a purpose. This means that it may even be a resource in certain contexts. 

If you try to change a belief without acknowledging its intention, you may trigger defensiveness, which can embed the belief more deeply. So first unveil the belief’s intended value in order to release it as a hindrance in your life. By seeking to fulfil the belief’s intention, it will loosen its grip on you.

Examples of positive intentions behind limiting beliefs:

Belief: “I can´t leave this relationship because I will never find someone better.”
Intention: “This keeps me loyal and empathetic in my current relationship.”

Belief: “I have to keep this unstimulating job, as it is difficult to find new and rewarding work these days.”
Intention: “This keeps me attentive and disciplined at work.”

Belief: “I am a bad public speaker.”
Intention: “This prevents me from having to face uncertainty and potential embarresment.”

Begin implementing a more appropriate way to satisfy the old belief’s intention and then start focussing on some new resourceful beliefs that support you in achieving the results that you want.

Sometimes our perception of significant emotional events leads to limiting beliefs being “programmed” into our minds. As young children we are also more prone to adopting the limiting beliefs of our caregivers. Deep limiting beliefs may need to be addressed at the causal level. For this there are certain forms of NLP, Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy that may be useful. Another powerful resource to help you transform deep limiting beliefs is our Drop the Habit recording.

Written by Jevon Dangeli – MSc Transpersonal Psychology, Coach & Trainer