We question our way into and out of situations. It´s when we stop questioning that we become stuck. This article introduces the art of asking yourself the “Big Questions”.
Big Questions are the most relevant ones that enable you to be empowered and creative as well as attractive to the people and circumstances that you want in any area of your life.
Edward Hodnett said:
“If you do not ask the right questions, you do not get the right answers. A question asked in the right way often points to its own answer. Asking questions is the A-B-C of diagnosis. Only the inquiring mind solves problems.”
So what are the “right” questions to ask? Well, a good question to start with is the one in the previous sentence. In general the question that you want to ask, should be the kind that allows for new unexpected answers to be revealed. Good (Big) questions enable free and flexible thinking that in and of themselves enable us to be in a resourceful state even without requiring answers immediately, if at all.
Big Questions are Self oriented. Nobody knows you better than your body does, when it comes to the really important matters. Your Unconscious Mind (inner genius/guide/Self) is the collective intelligence of all the cells in your body, which knows what is best for you. So Big Questions are posed only to your Self. Even if you’re in communication with the “Almighty Management Upstairs”, it’s your Unconscious Mind that deciphers that wisdom, so learn to understand and trust your Self (in the end, it´s all you’ve got).
The answers you get from within are in many ways formed by the questions you ask. In a problem situation asking: “why is this happening to me?”, takes you deeper into the problem; whereas asking: “how can I look at this differently?”, offers you new perspectives. Unless you’re eliciting yours or someone else’s values and/or purpose, abolish the word “why” from your vocabulary. Asking “how” questions that pertain to your own thoughts and actions provide you with greater choice. Ask yourself “how” and you’ll find out how.
We lead ourselves down dark rabbit holes when our questions are not relevant or useful. The Big Questions are those which guide us to positive outcomes in any situation. The following anecdote by Shel Silverstein highlights this point metaphorically:
I asked the zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with sad days?
Or are you sad with happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on he went.
I’ll never ask a zebra about stripes again.
Bad questions go nowhere good. Big Questions lead you to where you want to be.
Think about a challenging situation that you’re currently experiencing in your life… With that in mind, how will you experience the answer to your Big Question…? Be that answer!
Perhaps the answer to a meaningful life might be what arises from this Big Question:
How am I choosing to live life now?
Written by Jevon Dangeli – Transpersonal Coach, MSc Transpersonal Psychology
