Freedom is never more than a step away, and as you’ll discover in this article, it´s no step at all.
Your state is the key! Your physiology affects how you think and feel, which then determines how you behave.
In any situation, before you respond, first make sure you’re in the most appropriate state. That is The Next Step! Reactive states cause us to say and/or do things that we usually regret later. Empowered states help us to respond mindfully and constructively.
Viktor Frankle said: “Between stimulus and response there is a SPACE. In that SPACE is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”.
The ability to shift your attention away from negative thoughts and reactive tendencies, and place it in the SPACE inside yourself can be truly liberating. While tuned into this SPACE, negative thoughts and reactive tendencies loose their potency. Your mind quietens as it becomes aligned with your deeper awareness. Tension seeps out of your body. Thoughts and actions that arise from this SPACE are always what serve your best interest.
In my previous article “The Next Step” (published here) I showed you how to quickly change your physiology in order to change your state. It´s a simple yet profound skill for when you need to immediately yank yourself out of an unresourceful state in order to respond to a situation intelligently. In this article I’m referring to the discipline of tuning into the SPACE within you instead of reacting. This takes practice, but once you’re familiar with it, then it becomes the most natural and spontaneous thing to do in any challenging situation.
When our state is stirred by someone, it´s our unmet needs that make it difficult to hold our awareness in the SPACE. Bite back – knee jerk actions might be more familiar territory, but that can change. When emotional turbulence is activated, then psychologist Marshall Rosenberg suggests 5 key questions to ask yourself:
- What is occurring to trigger my emotions?
- What emotions are arising within me?
- What do I need that I am not receiving?
- What am I getting out of not having my needs met?
- What am I really asking for?
Answering these questions will help you be more conscious and accountable, and therefore more resourceful in your approach to the other person. Taking responsibility for your deeper needs enables you to expand the SPACE within you.
Authentic Self Empowerment is the process of expanding the SPACE, and allowing it to inspire The Next Step.
Whether you choose to jump into a bright eyed and bushy tailed physiology, or tune into the depth of your wise inner SPACE; either way is better, because they both lead to more freedom.
Remember: There is nothing to loose, and lots to gain. Give it a go.
Continue reading…The Next Step 3!
Written by Jevon Dangeli – NLP/Hypnotherapy Trainer & Coach