This article is the first in a series of articles that focus on how you can effectively overcome negative self talk, emotional reactions, runaway thoughts and things that go bump in the night.
We all have them – thoughts! Some work for us and some work against us. Nevertheless, as spiritual teacher Byron Katie puts it: “Thoughts are harmless, unless you believe them.”
If you have uncontrollable and unresourceful thoughts, then trying to replace them with positive thoughts or trying to stop them is futile.
What we resist persists. Thoughts need fuel to exist. They need our attention and their favourite form of attention are thoughts like: “I wish these thoughts would go away!” Therefore, thoughts gradually loose their interest in us when we stop focussing on them. Focussing on something else invites thoughts about that, so the trick is not to find something else to concentrate on, but rather, to find the gap!
The gap is that void which thoughts try to fill. It’s the space between thoughts. The gap is your source of inner peace, joy, creativity and freedom. It’s always there, although it might be extremely discreet at first. The more we allow ourselves to drop into the gap, the more we discover it’s value – which is the value of meditation – since being in that gap is being in meditation and many studies have proven that meditation is good of us – physically, mentally and spiritually.
Caution: In the gap our ego has nothing to hold onto, therefore it may kick and scream when we take time out to go within. If we identify closely with our ego, then the gap might be terrifying and to avoid this we typically fill our mind with thoughts or saturate it with with distractions like TV, radio, social media, reading, conversations and other activities. We go to terrible lengths to deprive ourselves of inner peace, joy, creativity and freedom. And then we cry, because we feel shut off from the source of our well-being.
The gap is friendly, play with it, or at least be curious about it. Instead of bypassing the gap, hopping from one thought to the next, wander into it… and sooner or later something wonderful will come out of it.
The more you indulge in the space between thoughts, the more you come alive. The more you take time out to be within your silent inner space, the more productive and effective you are when you get back to doing stuff.
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – Carl Jung
Find the gap, and you’ll find yourself. And you’ll find that you’re nicer than you think you are!
Continue reading – Find The Gap – Part 2
Written by Jevon Dangeli – NLP Trainer & Coach
