Relax, what you want is already within you!
What people really want is the feeling (internal goal) that they believe the accomplishment of an external goal will provide them with. However, our feelings are largely determined by our internal frames of reference and not by external things or situations.
Believing you need external things (money, recognition, partners, cars, jobs etc.) in order to feel love, peace, joy, happiness, security, etc, is a major cause of hardship, disappointment, suffering as well as addictions. Some people think that if they allowed themselves to feel their desired feelings now, they would lose the motivation to take action. But that isn’t how it works. In fact, a vital step in achieving and maintaining external success is to first create the internal pictures and feelings associated with that accomplishment. Then allow that resourceful state to motivate appropriate action and attract more of the “good stuff”.
Begin with the end in mind (a mental image of your achievement) as well as in body (feeling the way you will feel when accomplishing your goal – now). Do this by visualising the successful accomplishment of your desired goal and adjusting your physiology to match that resourceful state. This embodies your desired feeling in present time. As this feeling peaks, ask yourself:
“What’s the next smallest step I can take now that leads me toward the accomplishment of my external goal?”
Go with the first impulse or impression that comes into awareness, and keep following your internal guidance while you’re in your desired state. You will know you are on the right track while you’re feeling your desired state.
Avoid trying to take action toward your goal when you find yourself in an unresourceful state. Negative states attract negative results. They are a sign that your thoughts and actions are out of alignment with your important goals. Some people still think the old fashioned goal setting skill of planning all your steps from now up to the accomplishment of your goal is the way to go. And although sometimes this approach may be useful, it uses more energy, is threatened by life’s changes and often leads to disappointment when you realise that the goal you were striving for doesn’t provide you with your desired feeling for very long (assuming you even achieve that goal).
Isn’t it crazy to take massive action based on the assumption that what we will want (externally) in 1, 5 or 10 years time will still be important to us then? Yet many people live their lives like that! They behave like racehorses galloping along a single lane with only that goal (an elusive finish line) in mind, meanwhile missing out on all the opportunities that life has to offer along the way. The 80/20 Principle is the idea that 20% of our efforts account for 80% of our results. Therefore, if you focused your effort on first manifesting your internal goal (your desired feeling) and then allow that feeling to motivate one small action step at a time, then you will be maximising your effectiveness as well as saving time, energy and avoiding stress.
In HNLP (Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology) the feeling (state) associated with the successful accomplishment of your external goal is called the End State Energy (ESE), which is your internal goal. When activating your ESE, not only do you feel alive and vibrant instantly, you also become receptive to new opportunities including those that lead you to the most effortless achievement of your external goals.
Isn’t it at least a little exciting to know that you have the choice and ability to attract and create what you want in your life?
Written by Jevon Dangeli – MSc Transpersonal Psychology, Coach & Trainer
