If you’ve ever been verbally attacked by an angry, raging or vengeful person which caused you pain and confusion, this article is for you.
If you’re regularly the victim of abusive language and behaviour, this article is for you.
If you fear anyone because of their harsh manner, this article is for you.
Generally, when clients raise issues concerning them being attacked, victimized or treated harshly by others, I begin by questioning whether the issue has been a recurring pattern in their life.
Such a pattern may indicate that the person is emanating an energy (via their words and actions) that triggers the angry person’s outbursts. In this case I would assist my client to overcome this pattern through changing the beliefs and perceptions that underpin it. The result of this coaching process changes the energy that they emanate and enables them to respond resourcefully in situations which were a problem before.
If the issue is not related to a recurring pattern in their life, then we deal with it through identifying the precise way in which my client is affected by the situation. Once their problem state strategy is elicited, I assist these clients to change their responses to the situation by installing their desired states and behaviours at the unconscious level using NLP. This enables my clients to have immediate and constant access to better feelings and appropriate actions in the necessary contexts.
Both approaches entail enabling my clients to respond resourcefully amidst the angry, raging or vengeful people. In other words, if you want to deal with the situation better, you’ve got to change yourself. The best chance that you have of changing other people in a sustainable way is by changing your perception of them.
If you can recognize that the angry person is behaving in the only way they know how, given their current level of awareness, then you can begin to feel compassion toward them. The angry person suffers tremendously. They were probably the victim of painful events in the past which gave rise to their anger. They have never learned to release the anger in a healthy way. Although nothing gives anyone the right to attack you, by realising that an angry outburst is only information about that person’s current level of awareness and their past conditioning, you can learn to not take it personally.
As humans we have a tendency to project our perceptions of ourself (both positive and negative) onto others. The personality traits which we identify in others, whether glorious or horrendous, indicate that we have the potential for those traits within us. Realising this enables us to take ownership of our whole personality, it stops us attracting people that we don’t want in our life, as well as promotes healing and growth.
Integrating what I’ve shared with you above is a journey that requires a commitment to becoming ‘response-able’ and a willingness to uncover all of your inner self. Even if you aren’t effected by angry people, this personal pilgrimage is one we all have to make eventually.
Remember, you can be in control of your mind and therefore of your behaviours, and only yours. It starts with a choice and ends with freedom.
Written by Jevon Dangeli – NLP/Hypnotherapy Trainer & Coach