This article is the fourth in a series of articles that focus 
on how you can effectively overcome negative self talk, emotional reactions, runaway thoughts and things that go bump in the night.
In the previous three articles I defined the gap as: “The space between thoughts. Your source of inner peace, joy, creativity and freedom”. In this Tip you’ll discover how to find your g-a-p (goal-and-purpose) in all types of situations. This, as you will discover, frees up choice, flexible communication and proactive action – no matter what you’re confronted by.
First, no matter what, before any important decision, or knee jerk reaction, always find the gap! I explain why this is vitally important in FIND THE GAP 5!
In addition to the skills you’ve learned in the previous three articles, here’s another very simple way to clear your thoughts:
Suddenly imagine a big red STOP sign in front of you. As you halt your thoughts, pay attention to the gap for as long as it’s there. The more you give the gap your silent attention, the greater it becomes. You might enjoy the following version of this approach… As you bring that big red STOP sign to mind, imagine hearing brakes screeching and feel the jolt of your “vehicle” coming to a halt.
In any kind of confrontation or when an important decision is required, first halt, then find your g-a-p (goal-and-purpose).
In this instance, your goal is what you want to do, and your purpose is how you will experience yourself once it’s done.
When your goal-and-purpose are in alignment, you feel good, you’re motivated and you’re constructive.
When your goal-and-purpose are not in alignment, then your actions do not result in the feeling that you’d like to have. For example, some people smoke to relax, but smoking doesn’t relax them. Some people eat (or refuse to eat) as a way of dealing with heavy emotions, but this doesn’t work. Some people say things to hurt others so that they can feel empowered, but this just causes themselves pain down the line.
The art of finding your g-a-p in any situation is to start by establishing your purpose, and then to take the action (your goal) that leads toward the accomplishment of your purpose.
Questions to ask yourself once you’ve halted:
What do I ultimately want in this situation?
(elicits your purpose)
What will I do now toward achieving this?
(elicits your goal)
The far reaching benefits of first finding the gap and then establishing your g-a-p is worth the discipline of applying this in your life.
In FIND THE GAP 5 we’ll take this idea further, and you’ll discover the winning formula to achieving your goals.
Find the g-a-p, and you’ll find yourself in greater control of your mind, and therefore in control of your results!
Written by Jevon Dangeli – NLP Trainer & Coach
